November 5, 2010

A Poem by Sandi Schmidt

Editor’s note: Sandi Schmidt recently had a major run-in with poison ivy. She documented her problem by writing a poem about it. When she realized that she wasn’t going to feel up to taking part in a scheduled fern team workday she sent it to Christie Rodgers, head of the fern team, with the following message:

“Christie, I wrote this day before yesterday in the wee hours, but hadn’t felt like sending it. I think I’m better now (my sense of humor is returning), but not sure if I’ll feel like digging and getting sweaty Saturday.”

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
I’ve read your e-mail
And I’m growing pale
I know you’ll think I’m lying
But over two weeks I’ve been crying.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Grandson’s guitar teacher needed direction
His flower beds needed some correction
He said “Plants,... he had not any”
Daughter said her mom had way too many

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
And so off we two went to plant
Time during half hour lesson...was scant
So we stayed and we played
Oh the price that we paid

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Such a good thing we thought we had done
Till instructor... we see in a run
What he said filled us with dread
We were digging the wrong bed

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
We were queasy and feeling sick
Told him bye, we had to leave quick
You see, to plant all the things that we took
Poison ivy we did overlook

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
In 5 o’clock traffic...no tarry
The itching was making us wary
A pharmacist said, “Don’t you worry,
Big bucks will fix you in a hurry”

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
So away with our magic elixir
He swore to daughter would fix her
We scrubbed and we washed
Shoes, gloves, and jeans we just tossed

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
We dodged a bullet so to speak
Checked arms and ankles a week
But next week my forehead was bubbles
Red and itchy for all of my troubles

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Thank heaven, nothing on daughter
Now my lids are puffy with water
Guess brushed PI on face with glove
And now I’m not feeling the love

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Off quickly to “Doc in a Box”
Head looks like chicken pox
Get Z-Pac, codeine, cortisone cream
Can’t I get out of this damned dream...?

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Doc finds I also have chest infection
And says with mustered affection,
“In a few days you’ll be fine!”
I hear, “You need glass of wine.”

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
How I’ve learned to hate “leaves of three”
Yesterday, Poison Ivy’s all over me
Around my trunk, behind my knees,
Under arms, ankles, calves, Oh pleez!

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Back to doc for her ‘big gun” med
I first refused, side effects I dread
Prednisone ordered to make me well
Will also keep me awake...Oh Hell!

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
But wait, she adds inhaler for post nasal drip
“Hey, I don’t think I have that.” I quip
“It’ll help with your cough, and make you sleepy.”
My dream, my nightmare is getting creepy

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Today’s first day for steroid med
I’m hyper, wild, can’t go to bed
PI is still here, but hey I don’t care
I think my palms are now growing hair

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
 

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